Let me elaborate:
Just another day of catering, the ush . . . so I thought. Until I noticed who the event was honoring; none other than the love of my life, Mr. LMM. I planned to avoid him the entire night so I wouldn't act a fool. Cut to someone hailing me down from behind in order to grab one of the mini burgers from my hors d'oeuvres tray. I casually turn around to offer one and almost drop the tray in the process, as I gaze directly into . . . Lin-Manuel's doe-y eyes. Sigh. He said he was a fan of sliders. I said . . . well, I said nothing actually. I smiled and nodded. He winked. I died, a little.
Andd that was pretty much it. Amazing, I know. My life is just so ... interesting.
Another butler and I were talking about why I am so enamored with this man. He also pointed out that LMM had only a girlfriend, not a wife . . . after all, he's only six years older than me. Thank you, fellow butler, I said. Thank you, for creepily pointing that out.
I think the reason why I am so attracted to LMM, even though I clearly don't know him at all, originally stems from his body of work and his presence on stage. Yes, I think his style of writing is unique and current, and his music hauntingly beautiful, but, as I think I've mentioned before, his acting is what drew me to him the most. The vulnerability, the honesty, the rawness, just this guy, putting it all out there . . . I admire him not only for his creativity and energy, but also for what I find difficulty in achieving in my life . . . in creating, in putting my work out there. I admire his earnest belief in the validity of his work since he was a ripe, young thing; something a lot of people struggle with, but others just naturally have confidence in that way.
I think it's a combination of I see a little of myself in him, a little of who I aspire to be, and a little of the type of 'ideal' man I could see myself with in the future . . . all that is what attracts me to him, in this odd sort of connection that I can only describe as an innate feeling, not a thought. And since I never define my life by my feelings, this is an unusual thing for me to explain. And if I try to go into detail, it just comes out all creepy and naive.
So, there you have it. Another memorandum on Lin-Manuel Miranda.
