On Friday nights, typically I skype with dogs.

Hey, at least I know the dog. He's not a stranger dog. A dog stranger.

I'm double-spacing this entry so the MLA police doesn't come after me.

On a side note, if you haven't watched the season premiere of 30 Rock yet, get to it.

30 Rock is so fantastic sometimes I just want to climb into its lap and take a bounce on it.

OK bye. UNT.

Things are Lookin' Up for Ole Liz Lemon

Are things really looking up for ole Liz Lem? TBD.

You know, I originally starting writing an entry yesterday entitled "Big Hairy Expletive." It started out as a minor rant about why I can't eat peanuts like a normal human being (instead I shovel them in my mouth like a starving ape), but then the entry naturally progressed into half pity party/half too intimate rant about my dissatisfaction with my volatile dating life. It was horrendous. I had to delete it. So I scribbled some shit down in my trusty tangible journal instead and turned on Arrested Development and watched approximately 7 episodes. That always cheers me up. I even got to watch the episode where Buster makes my favorite acting choice of the entire series. It's the one where he gets his hook stuck in the dashboard of the truck because he's trying to dance to Mr. Roboto. And he turns to the side to look at Job who is driving. The look and noise he makes is pure genius, I tell you. It makes me laugh every time. And then I always have to rewind it and watch it a few more times. I may have even taken a tiny recording of it on my iPhone (illegalities) for really miserable days in the future. Ah, planning ahead! You go type A, you . . . go.

Today my mind was still feeling a little cloudy, but apparently all I needed was a frozen half banana smeared with nutella and approximately ten minutes of making fun of people with the housekeeper. And Kate Nash's "Shit Song". Honestly though, is there ever a case when making fun of people doesn't lift your spirits at least a little? Or nutella? Can somebody consume nutella without cracking a smile? Or singing lyrics to yourself like "Darling, don't give me shit, 'cause I know that you're full of it." That's pretty fun to sing. All sassy-like. And cockney-like. Yes, I do affect a dirty British accent when singing Kate Nash songs. It's really endearing, I swear.

And then an old friend from college texted me and I get to plan a small meal to cook tonight!

So basically what I'm saying is, I'm good enough to fake a smile now. #ProgressDotCom

I think when 30 Rock comes back on, quality of life will automatically be improved by 10-percent. Scientifically speaking, of course. Come onnnn September 23rd! Oh man, I wonder what my life will look like on that day. I feel so eerie-bubbly-anxious about that date! Besides the fact that it's Jordon and my brother's birthday.

I wish they invented a Wii game called "Anger Management" where you could just use the controller to virtually simulate punching somebody in the face. And you could maybe upload pictures of various people's heads or just choose a local stranger. How incredible would that be? Because sometimes, just daydreaming about it isn't enough. Maybe I shouldn't have posted this fantastic idea . . . I am going to be such a big young millionaire.

UNT

Pumpkin everything

My dilemma is that I cannot decide if leaving early or late from my apartment in the morning will benefit me in the future. If I leave early, there is always a very nice-looking man with dark hair and nice clothes that usually walks faster than me to the train. If I leave later, there is a very adorable man wearing medical scrubs that gets off at the same stop as me.

The cons for the early man include: wearing a backpack (why? is he a student?!) and that I've really only seen the back of his head. I'm sure the face is alright; you can just tell when someone has an attractive back of the head.

The cons for the late man include: even though he made it a point to check me out on the train, he still was in conversation with a friend who rides with him to work, and that he transfers to the express so we only have a short time to ride with each other on the train.

It took me thirty days to realize I like my hair. Go figure.

I guess I'm going to stay brunette. It is my natural color anyway.

30 Rock Season 4 Premiere is this evening. You can only imagine my excitement.

I hate this blog entry with a heated passion . . .

I will get back to you when I am feeling up to being witty and amazing again.

UNT.

This just made me laugh so hard.

"No. Love is hiding who you really are at all times; even when you're sleeping . . . by wearing makeup to bed and going downstairs to Burger King to poop and hiding alcohol in perfume bottles."

God, I love 30 Rock.

gnite.

Fictional, yet stunning

So what if my dream man happens to be Jack Donaghy.