Do an egg and a half cup of beans make a meal?
Am I a model?
These are this morning's unanswered questions.
Last night's Upright Citzens Brigade ASSSSCAT3000 show (featuring Donald Glover!!) had me thinking a lot about catchphrases. Mostly because the monologist (the first funny one I've seen in months-wow!) created his own catchphrase by the end of the show: "By the way, I'm super gay, so get on board!" And then we all honked our train horns (hoo hoo!) and made a chug-a-lug motion with our fists. That does not sound funny at all written out. Ay carumba. Anyway, the point is I want to coin a catchphrase. Possibly by Wednesday. And I want to use it all over the place in California next week so that I can dominate the coasts.
Possibilities:
"Things are about to get shitty."
I feel like this is already a catchphrase. And/or I've been saying it since 1999. God, I love 1999 jokes. I haven't seen a movie since 1999! I haven't worn pants since 1999! I haven't burped a baby since 1999!
"Sex and the shitty"
I'm scrapping this one already. I gave it five seconds.
"Put it on!"
No idea. Maybe I need another espresso.
"Mosquitos say what?!"
I will admit, this is my personal favorite. I wish a mosquito answered me.
Okay, I'm over catchphrases. But, I do want to bring back the word crumby. Like from 1999.
UNT
P.S. I took a picture of this bird that is always on my fire escape over the weekend. Next day, there was a dead bird on my fire escape. Obviously I drew conclusions from this. Obviously these were the conclusions: 1) Bird bodies cannot handle indoor flash 2) Anything I take a picture of will die the next day 3) Good luck for 7 years
