Daddy is done.
Put a fork in her.
She's more done than my roommate is done with meat.
That was a terrible analogy, I am so. so. deeply. sorry.
But you know what I'm NOT sorry for?
- Being myself whole-heartedly
- Not picking up sight reading fast enough
- Spending 4 years on getting a degree I might never use
- Having no interest in becoming a professional actor
- Quitting my job without two other ones lined up
- Not knowing exactly what career path I want to follow
- Being afraid of being 25
- Being deathly afraid of rodents (including bats)
- Hell, being afraid of riding horses when they gallop
- Counting my calories most days of the week
- Overdoing it on the exercise sometimes
- The fact that I prefer looking lean and thin over just 'fit'
- Cooking elaborate meals daily like I'm feeding a small army of 400 Ethiopians
- Having expectations for my friends, boyfriends and family members
- Eating my weight in Turkish Borek for lunch and then having some disgusting milk chocolate with nuts I wasn't even hungry for
- Drinking that bottle of wine by myself on Sunday because I. felt. like. it.
- Planning my 25th birthday party six months in advance
- Wanting to have a 'bring your own exotic cheese party' for my 25th birthday party
- Taking money out of my savings to go to the Caribbean at the end of this month
- Lamenting a common dating breakup for longer than a week
- That sexual intercourse means something to me
- That I don't always know how to effectively communicate to people that I need something or what I want
- Telling the lady at Chase today that I felt like I was being punished for losing both of my debit cards in one day and asking for the fee to be removed just for me
- Liking Anchorman and quoting the shit out of it
- Taking more cabs to work this year than I could afford because I had a fun evening the night before
- Mispronouncing "Turmeric" more than twice last week
- Planning social activities a week in advance
- Having crushes on boys with girlfriends
- Being frugal even when I'm rich; being frugal when I'm poor; Being frugal
- Shamelessly inviting myself into other people's plans because I prefer to be social over solitary on the weekends
- For knowing I deserve more
This post was inspired by an interesting entry by Rachel Wilkerson:
And here was my response to her entry, for your reference:
"I have been thinking A LOT about guilt lately and just recently realized how much it directly corresponds to confidence for me. I do agree, as a woman one is more prone to getting too much advice and I often feel that perhaps I could have wasted much less time and energy if I would have just owned what my gut was telling me to do from the beginning.
I don’t think people can even “stop making you feel guilty” as that implies they were in control in the first place. I erased the phrase “s/he makes me feel ____” from my vocabulary a couple years ago; something I had to force myself to learn to do in order to start owning (and taking responsibility for) my emotions. No one can ‘MAKE’ me feel a certain way. I ‘CHOOSE’ to react that way. And as New York taught me assertiveness/confidence over the years, I’ve been learning to just stop giving other people so much gd control–even over my feelings. And that for me completely involved getting rid of a lot of the guilt.
That said, I love the mantra of ‘Sorry I’m not sorry” and I might just have to bookmark this post when I need a reminder to own it!"
I think this September is gonna be a good one. And I know all this change, especially the career one, is gonna be great for me. For additional reference, please reference Ceelo's "F**k You" song--in case you had any further questions. Stay true, take responsibility and don't ever let people tell you how you should feel, for godssakes. Go Big or Shut the Eff Up! UNT
