Make that . . . ONE friend in Los Angeles.

I am trying to plan a potential trip to California in a few months in order to visit San Francisco, Napa Valley vineyards, Los Angeles and possibly Santa Barbara. I've never been west of Chicago, so this would be a very exciting experience for me. Challenges I've encountered as of late, however, include trying to figure out how to get around LA without renting a god forsaken car and the fact that out of eight friends I've contacted about visiting there, one has replied back. Don't get me wrong, the one person who replied is a wonderfully worthwhile friend, but if I'm trekking my ass to literally the other side of the country, is it so much to ask to send even three words to someone who you just spent four years of your life in college classes with? In this day and age: the answer is yes. Yes, it is too much to ask. Mind you, I did not factor in Cara and Laura into this number; they, of course, are balls-to-the-wall ready to welcome me into their new towns in CA. Needless to say, I'll keep you posted on the status of that trip.

Other recent news:

I ordered from FreshDirect for the first time and loved every second of it. Especially when I used my $25 off coupon code.

I have agreed (with myself) to take a hiatus from consuming all alcoholic beverages. Even cooking with wine, which has certainly forced me to be more creative with sauteing mushrooms (AKA last night I boiled them in Earl Grey tea thanks to a Women's Health Magazine tip). All those visitors and the rowdy late nights truly took a toll on my body and mind, and I'm taking a month-long break from Alkie to see if I can discover clarity in a sober state. Good fucking luck, right? My plan is to continue this at least until Easter. I mean, I already went St. Patrick's day without drinking, so things are looking up . . . for old Liz Lemon!

Next week will mark the beginning of getting back to my toned, fit body. Hopefully, with the help of YogaToThePeopleNY (yoga class on suggestion-donation-only basis), spring weather and eventually some California sun, I should be glowing again by the end of May. Or I could just get knocked up, then I'd have that natural glow. I think I'll choose the former, thank you.

My dad's family will be visiting in a month complete with the kiddies. I will be playing the role of 48 Hour NYC Tour Guide again. As long as I don't give myself mono, I'm down.

and finally, a new segment, called:

INTERESTING OR AMUSING THINGS I'VE READ/WATCHED LATELY

1. This was a little while ago, but it made me laugh out loud. It's from Jeffery Self's blog:

How about that crazy chimp attack?! I had heard briefly about it yesterday on Regis and Kelly before all the details came out, but that 911 phone call is intensely disturbing. If you haven't heard it, check it out and you'll shit your pants. The amusing part of the local news coverage of the story was after telling the gruesome story and playing the scary phone call the newscaster said "To hear more of these 911 calls visit us on the web at...." So basically saying.... "For those of you who can't get enough crazy ass terrifying bat shit wacko stuff..... go to www." 

2. Why this made me laugh, nobody knows, but it's from this week's Seth Rudetsky Playbill Column:

First of all, smoking is still allowed in bars in New Orleans and that place was smokier than the Phantom's lair and/or the "No Good Deed" scene from Wicked . . .

 3. Another laugh-out-louder (you're gonna love this one, I swear) from a Women's Health Magazine article about poop:

"On the other hand, stools that are looser than a 'Rock of Love' contestant can signal food intolerance."

(good one, WHM, you clever minx)

4. An interesting concept America should take note of, in my personal opinion:

Invent Incentives:There's motivation, and then there's motivation. A recent study found that people whose employers paid them for every pound they lost dropped as much as 12 percent more weight than those who received no dough. -WHM March 2009

5. This youtube video that some claim is the spitting image of my childhood:

6. And finally, a piece that gave me nightmares, originally posted by Cara:

Click here

That's about all for today. Check ya later.

-k.