Just now I was thinking, what justifies eating an entire BBQ chicken pizza after already having dinner?
So, I made a list.
Reasons that justify you eating an entire BBQ chik pizza after already having dinner:
- You just ran the New York City Marathon.
- You just got the sense of taste back after not having it for two years.
- You are 85 pounds.
- You are in a pizza-eating competition, and winning.
- You are rich.
- You're married.
- The money for the pizza is going to charity.
- You have the flu and are going to throw up in a couple hours anyway.
- You're not eating for the rest of the week due to a religious holiday.
- It's your last meal.
And now, an anecdote from my childhood.
I used to hate pizza. Mostly because my dad made homemade pizza all the time and I didn't care for it [because I was a snobby foodie even at the ripe young age of 6]. But in general, pizza and the gooey cheese grossed me out bigtime.
When I would go to other friend's birthday parties, I would ask if they had salad. It also didn't help that I disliked cake and ice cream, so I was generally seen as a nuisance. Attending birthday parties as a kid was one of my least favorite past times. Especially if it was held at Chuckie Cheese's, home of the world's most disgusting pizza. For my own birthday parties growing up, my parents would home-make another dish for my party. I think one year we had lasagna. At my high school graduation party, my Dad made all different kind of salads and hamburgers; a much classier option in my opinion.
It wasn't until college that I unwillingly discovered a love for pizza, mostly due to budget constraints. This 'love' eventually escalated into obsession and then later into a possibly unhealthy addiction. But that's because I was spoiled as far as pizza goes. My college campus featured what is arguably the single best specialty pizza restaurant in the United States, nay, the world. PIZZA HOUSE (my one true love until I die or can afford to visit other pizza shops in NYC besides 'Famous Ray's') was king at MSU. That shit was gourmet, yo.
Their Southwestern BBQ chicken pizza was prepared by gods, or at least college students with god-like hands. I even made time to order a personal BBQ CHIK pizza when I was in East Lansing for a wedding in July. That's right, you heard correctly. After a wedding and a full three course meal with hors d'oeuvres, I went home and consumed an entire pizza. It was one of the most thrilling moments of my life, right up there with moving to New York City and having sex for the first time. Okay, that is an exaggeration. But the point is, I savored that moment like nobody's business.
The moral to this story is I have no real justification for eating an entire bbq chicken pizza right now. Especially for $20 at stupid old hat Famous Ray's. Not like I was considering it or anything. I'm going to go and eat a tablespoon of raisins now, which is like pizza, only the exact opposite. UNT.
