You are open like an open-faced sandwich. I am closed like a closed-toe shoe.

Finding the Netflix in my house is always like an Easter egg hunt. A really annoying Easter egg hunt where sometimes you never even find all the eggs. Or sometimes your roommate sent the eggs back to the Netflix company because she thought you watched them already.

I wonder if my landlord would allow me to house a pellet stove in my living room.
Is that a fire hazard? I mean, I know it's essentially a cage of fire.
But is it hazardous?


I'm sneezing.

I just returned from a 6-day trip to my homeland: Michigan. I touched a turkey's taint. Or grazed it lightly with my fingertip. Whichever you prefer. I brought my Nana some flowers and had a delicious lunch with her--full of many lunch meats, various cheeses and nutty homemade brownies. I ate my Grandma's stuffing. Two helpings at the Thanksgiving meal. Later that evening on a turkey sandwich. The next day for lunch. And later that evening for a snack after bottles of champagne and wine that I politely shared with my best friend of almost 10 years. I visited my family's favorite Japanese steak house. Yes, I had filet. How can you even ask such a preposterous question. I of course had to stop by my grandpa's restaurant with my step-dad for a light (okay heavy) breakfast. And I may or may not have overdid it with the Thanksgiving remix at my Aunt's on Saturday. If by overdid it, you mean two different types of stuffing, three glasses of Cabernet, pecan and pumpkin pie, biscotti, and all the other usual suspects (turkey, green beans, salad, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, rolls, etc.) But nothing truly compares to today. Dare I even put it in print--er---the blogosphere . . . okay, I'll just say it. My name is Katie and today I had breakfast at Hardees and lunch at Arby's (Mark's fault, I mean choice).

Basically what I'm pointing out here is my obvious virtue of self-discipline.
what.the.WHAT?!!

Anyway, tomorrow it's back to the daily grind. My stomach will cry as I whip her back into shape and try to shrink her size over the course of the week. Is butter a carb? Just kidding. I know what butter is.

I'm trying to resist the urge to get a bagel tomorrow. Every time I see the Empire State building from a distance, my mouth waters for a NYC bagel.

I don't think I'm very good at ESP because I just tried to will two different people to call me. So far, nothing. I ate some peanuts while I waited. The peanuts were good, thank you for asking. I think my telepathy needs some practice. And my telekinesis. And my photosynthesis.

I have to go before I get carried away. On a platter.
But mostly so I can go look at something that doesn't remind me of food.

To all my American readers, I hope your holidays were stuffed with cheer and gaiety.
Here's to the beginning of the December holiday season . . .
UNT

p.s. I feel sorry for tofurkeys.